Be who you are. Ignore everything else. (Easier said than done!)

The world often asks too much of us, and then we ruin ourselves to be approved by the world. And I think the most sinister aspect of this is that the world’s asking doesn’t often look like asking. In college and after, nearly every time I heard a voice inside my head telling me to lose weight, I couldn’t actually find the voice, or the mouth it came from.

The violence of shaming someone is so often a result of distance between what you see in front of you and how you feel inside.

On the awesomeness of high school football.

Great night time read! I hope this AOTDs! Such a great combo of interesting and practical. “Pay close attention” is life advice that basically applies to absolutely everything.

Sounds pretty rough, but I was expecting a lot worse.

Whoa.

I actually really enjoyed slow-skimming this without any of the interactive stuff. It’s the quotes that are the bombshells. Like this:

“Why did we think providing electricity to communities in Kandahar who had no concept of what to do with it would convince them to abandon the Taliban?”

The first few paragraphs put the scope of this failure in perspective. We should all be reading up on Afghanistan.

Obama, wtf. :(

Fun fact:

But no publication has been more consistently identified with its rigorous fact-checking than The New Yorker. It began to mercilessly check facts after an error-plagued 1927 profile of Edna St. Vincent Millay led to Millay’s mother threatening a libel suit against the magazine.

Whoa. Scary stuff.

“I’m sure Ryan will be just fine.”

Yup. That’s a really great line. I read a lot about masculinity, so I’m surprised that I’ve never heard of Jordan Peterson, although the bed-making thing does kind of ring a bell. (If he’s a social media star, that would explain why he’s been invisible to me.)

Of course men are “natural rulers.” And of course women’s are too! We all rule different stuff in different ways! Our powers are equal and, often, opposite. There’s no debate here. Right?

My brain is a bit fried after a morning of heavy reading, so I’ll talk about me instead of the rest of the world, to reduce the likelihood that I’ll commit an embarrassing faux pas: Being a man is tough. And f*ck anyone (uh oh - faux pas territory!) who doesn’t have the time or patience to hear that out. The only way to maintain perspective is to hear all perspectives. In exchange, we men need to get comfortable ceding the ground that we won by less-than-moral means. We need to master the art of losing, which is why it’s a good thing that Elizabeth Bishop gave us that poem by the same name.

What do folks think about this?

My take: This kind of writing isn’t productive. It’s written by and for people who are so completely consumed by the hype machine that it’s almost like they aren’t really thinking original thoughts.

Culture, food and race - my favorite topics. I read that Sarah Kay piece when it first came out, so I’ve been thinking about this for a while. At my income/wealth level, “authenticity” comes at a price, so my experiences are nothing like what the author describes. Chipotle, where I am, is cheaper than actual Mexican food - stuff made by Mexicans for Mexicans.

Now that I’ve been removed from the food scene (in Brooklyn and SF) for a while — and, as a compounding factor, I don’t use social media — I feel like I can see that these kind of articles are written by and for city people who are (1) obsessed with one very specific form of identity (skin color) that they ignore other forms (socio-economic background, class, etc.), and (2) trying to get ahead on the next hype, rather than trying to un-hype their minds.

Extremely practical.

I take sleep very, very seriously. To me, it’s even more important than eating well and exercising. In fact, one way I’ve been thinking about it: eating well and exercising serve my sleep. Everything serves sleep: anxiety reduction, keeping my overall affairs in order. Excellent sleep is it’s own reward. And, of course, the benefits double- (and triple-) back.

I haven’t had an alarm clock in years. 90% of the time I’m down and up with the sun.

As an entrepreneur, I have a really hard time “turning off” thoughts about my company. My strategies to “release” are (in order): reading books, journal writing, walking, and socializing.

Yoga Nidra is a highly approachable form of meditation, even for beginners. I’ve done it over a hundred times. I still almost always fall asleep. But when I don’t, WOW, it’s like levitation.

I didn’t care that this one was two years old. I still gobbled it right up. Or, to borrow some words from the article:

I started lightly spiralling.

The beauty/fashion industry scares me. I’m not embarrassed to enjoy reading about it, but maybe I should be? Not all of this applies to men, but some of it does. Earlier this year, I tried to triple-down on self-care while obliterating all self-consciousness, ego, and superficiality. I feel like it was a good experiment, but not a good way to live: dandruff, unruly facial hair, etc. So, now I’m trying to find the middle ground. In 2020 I’d like to feel good and look good, which, I think, ultimately, have a lot of overlap. It helps that I’m not on social media and almost never see ads. It keeps me in touch with more primal forms of beauty, rather than whatever “the industry” is currently hucking. Sometimes, now, when I see magazine covers at grocery stores, I think that’s in now?! I guess uncool is always going to be cool. Out-of-the-loop, in a way, is the ultimate victory.

Also, I need to read Sontag beyond On Photography.

Dynamite

On the phenomenon that is Instagram

A fair and balanced (and exceptionally well-written) article. This hints at the dystopia we’re living in, without calling it out directly. At times, that feels almost aloof. But, overall, the moderate tone works. (I know the guy who wrote this. He works at IDEO. Makes sense.)

I haven’t had a LinkedIn in years. So I know, very intimately, what the professional and financial ramifications are of unplugging from that network. That’s the real story - how and why it’s durable: How you’re f*cked if you leave.

Ten. Jia Tolentino is one of the best living journalists. @turtlebubble yes yes yes!

Tolentino, by the way, is the top writer on Readup. (I’m number two. Previously we were tied. I loved seeing our names next to each other.)

Anyway, she’s obviously a way better writer than me, and probably better than almost every other writer on the planet, except, maybe, for a few poets or something. Sentences like this, out of nowhere, put me over the top:

Social media exacerbates two competing impulses in the performance of one’s everyday self: aspiration and honesty.

@turtlebubble, any time you post a Tolentino article, consider a guaranteed read from me ;)

Next-level use of parenthesis

Giving it a 10 because I want everyone to read it.

“With our Paleolithic instincts, we’re simply unable to resist technology’s gifts.”

Not true. I love my Paleolithic instincts and I know, from personal experience, that we’re capable of being bigger than our prehistoric impulses, and keeping them in check.

“That’s because our Paleolithic brains aren’t built for omniscient awareness of the world’s suffering.”

Also not true, or at least I want more proof. I wasn’t born knowing that humans are going extinct, but it’s beside the point anyway. Humans since the dawn of time have witnessed suffering unlike anything I can imagine in my most hellish nightmares.

“Our online news feeds aggregate all of the world’s pain and cruelty, dragging our brains into a kind of learned helplessness. Technology that provides us with near-complete knowledge without a commensurate level of agency isn’t humane.”

We’re better than this. The problem isn’t de-sensitization. We don’t need to soften reality. We need more brave souls to dive into the wreck, to make sense of things, and steer us forward. We aren’t helpless!

“Our Paleolithic brains also aren’t wired for truth-seeking.”

Where is Tristan coming up with this?

“Simply put, technology has outmatched our brains, diminishing our capacity to address the world’s most pressing challenges.”

Aiight, bro. You’re free to believe that, but I’m still on team human. We’re bigger and better than this, by a longshot.

I really wasn't expecting to enjoy this one as much as I did. I definitely wasn't expecting to finish it.

Non-fiction about pre-historical humans. With a specific focus on how we see ourselves, then and now.

Oh man, I really loved this. And I really really loved the ending. I think I get the joke! Like, for real. I’m just sitting here laughing at how silly (and awesome!) humans are. :P

Awesome sci-fi short story. Zippy and interesting. Loved it.

Gotta get this guy on Readup! One day!

Obama has the most followed Twitter account in the world, but rather than use it as a political weapon, he acts more like a celebrity social media influencer. He’s also a social media skeptic. One of his recent book recommendations was The Shallows, Nicholas Carr’s examination of how the internet is turning our brains to mush. While many of his closest advisers are well-known Twitter combatants, Obama has consistently voiced skepticism about the partisan “siloing” that social media encourages.

Boom! 💥

The world is asking for Readup!

Wow. A great, amateur writer reckons with truth (and lies) and consequences, in the wake of a wild family tragedy. Crazy good.

For the David Sedaris fans.

I knew I’d love this, but it’s even deeper and more thoughtful than I expected.

For various reasons, I love the term “interspecies love.” And I love when scientists “throw aside decades of immersion in scientific jargon.”

Now I’m sitting here wondering if humans can learn a lot from dogs. Love is all you need. Duh.

This one particular line caused me to choke up a little:

Darnell comes to life in computer class, where he shows off his agility at math, matching patterns and filling in multiplication tables. He whispers “Bam!” whenever he gets an answer right.

We all have it in us. Some of us just have a million hurdles to jump.

Home improvements, for me, are definitely a mood-boosting life-changer. Cooking is too. And being with loved ones. When I’m doing all of that stuff semi-regularly, I know I’m heading in the right direction.

Moral: Use that wedding china! With reckless abandon! It’s such a good approach to life - treating every thing, every day, and every one as sacred.

This is fascinating. The first third was challenging - I can only take so many numbers and statistics. But the remainder was much easier reading.

These are wild times to be alive. More than just reflecting my opinions, this article reflects my values. We have our work cut out for us.

The China/Hong Kong situation seems pretty black and white to me. So I obviously have some more to learn.

Fun fact:

[Hong Kong] has lost its global allure. Tourism is booming but only because of Chinese tourists, who now account for nearly 80 percent of arrivals. These aren’t savvy Chinese travelers—that rising class has long since written off Hong Kong as a backwater—but people for whom a visit is their first “foreign” experience.

In California, reading this - pretty surreal.

It’s about the wildfires, and the heros who fight them. This inspired me to be more prepared and more aware. Human stories like this are more interesting to me than scientific research. I don’t have the time (or interest) to crunch numbers.

The opening and closing are sentimental, yet strong. I think that this is the main argument:

“Men like [Buttigieg] are more willing to perpetuate the fantastic narrative of negro neighborhoods needing more role models and briefcase-carriers than make the people in power stare into the sun and see the blinding light of racism.”

Yes. Of course. But here’s the thing: Bits and pieces of that ideology are present in the consciousness of almost every human I know, and definitely every white human.

The use of “liar” and “motherfucker” don’t advance the argument. Instead, the anger gets in the way of a much deeper, tougher, and more nuanced conversation.

It’s counterproductive to attack people when they say something clumsy. It divides us. Mistakes are wonderful opportunities to forgive people for blind spots.

We need more ideas that bring us together. Especially on a topic like this, where there should be lots of common ground: ALL of the cards are stacked against young black kids.

Two thumbs up. I’ve been enjoying bits of Russian history recently. This one’s really easy to read and interesting.

The tiny mentions of Trump and Putin are actually amazing.

Maybe one day I’ll read something that doesn’t mention David Foster Wallace.

Awesome. I’m stoked to know this guy. Great writing, incredible story.

Great reading for people who work in tech startups.

I highly recommend this.

The stories we tell are never wholly our own. Words, and the stories they create, have their own history, and we all work within their limits. Writers and speakers, all of us, constantly reorder and encode new meaning in what has already been said.

It’s absurd how often David Foster Wallace finds me, even when I’m not seeking him out.

In the last few months, I’ve gotten a lot clearer on some stuff. Life is good, even when it’s not. But also: Life isn’t good, even when it is. It’s just all water.

Basically just automatic 10 from me for any article that references the greatest poem of all time:

The Art of Losing By ELIZABETH BISHOP

The art of losing isn’t hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster of lost door keys, the hour badly spent. The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster: places, and names, and where it was you meant to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother’s watch. And look! my last, or next-to-last, of three loved houses went. The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster, some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent. I miss them, but it wasn’t a disaster.

—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love) I shan’t have lied. It’s evident the art of losing’s not too hard to master though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

Whaaat!?! What a primal scream! True 10. I love when writers put truth above all else. I guess some people might have bad feelings about the narrator, but I found her to be highly relatable.

Powerful. Seems just in time for Thanksgiving.

I kinda just read this whole thing because I wanted to see if there would be any mention of Natalie Portman's slow-mo walk at the end of Closer. Can't believe it wasn't mentioned!

Anywho, walking rules. I'm trying to do three good walks per day, every day. I fail almost always, but it's a good benchmark.

So many LOLs. Loved this! I hope it AOTDs.