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    • Toniannicommented2 years ago
      The AtlanticRebecca Carroll6/3/205 min
      The Atlantic

      I pray for her healing, such a trauma to experience.


      This raises a few questions... Who is human? Why should we care? Why should white people care about black people? Why do Black lives matter? Why do human lives matter?

    • Toniannicommented2 years ago

      Wonderful bittersweet interview.

      But if we are willing to change our point of view…

      Well, then, the person to talk to is first of all your own heart, your wife, your child. It's your country, too. I've read a great deal about the good white people of this country since I came back to it in 1957. But it's the good white people of this country who forced the black people into the streets.

      Absolutely spot on. White people live with heads buried in the sand but can’t see that the fabric of this society is woven with racism, ofcourse your children and their children will absorb it without it being ‘taught’ What needs doing is actively teach your kids to be anti-racist, and not just with words but with your own behaviour and attitude.

      1. Update (6/7/2020):

        I’m reminded of a job I had earlier this year nannying two ‘white’ kids being ‘black’ meself. One day while having dinner, the 4yr old says (there’d been an ongoing chat) “White people go up and all the brown people go down” Her 7yr old brother provided the interpretation. Up is heaven, down is hell. (They aren’t Christian people) I was aghast. I asked her who told her that, she said it was her dad. I could not believe that but after telling her that it was not true, I decided to tell the parents when they got home (such a tough decision it was) They looked horrified and said they will talk to their kids and that they don’t bring them up that way plus the girl goes to a nursery where she is a minority! (Doesn’t matter in a country where the fabric is racist) Now, I do not know how they bring up their kids but if they are like the avg white person, they do not have conversations about race and I think it is an absolute must! People should not be this ignorant.

    • Toniannicommented2 years ago
      Harvard Business Review7/8/163 min
      Harvard Business Review

      An angle I’m interested in understanding is why this expectation for women to be warm exists.

      I hope someone explores it because I don’t think that men all over the corporate world got together and said “Hey we must expect women to be warm!” Yes bros! Let’s do it”

    • Toniannicommented2 years ago

      It doesn’t have to be one or the other - We can and should encourage people to look at the positives, to get away from toxic environments and people whilst learning from/through the pain of their experience. The judgement that encouraging an optimistic outlook is ‘fake positivity’ is harsh.

      1. Update (6/8/2020):

        Negative thinking linked to dementia in later life - https://edition.cnn.com/2020/06/07/health/negative-thinking-dementia-wellness/index.html?utm_source=twCNN&utm_content=2020-06-08T05%3A40%3A03&utm_term=link&utm_medium=social

    • Tonianniscouted2 years ago

      At all costs try to avoid granting yourself the status of the victim. Of all the parts of your body, be most vigilant over your index finger, for it is blame-thirsty. A pointed finger is a victim’s logo — the opposite of the V-sign and a synonym for surrender. No matter how abominable your condition may be, try not to blame anything or anybody: history, the state, superiors, race, parents, the phase of the moon, childhood, toilet training, etc. The menu is vast and tedious, and this vastness and tedium alone should be offensive enough to set one’s intelligence against choosing from it.

      The moment that you place blame somewhere, you undermine your resolve to change anything

    • Tonianniscouted2 years ago
      The New York Times CompanyAmanda Hess4/6/207 min
      The New York Times Company
    • Toniannicommented2 years ago
      EsquireKelly Stout4/16/2016 min
      Esquire

      I just subscribed to get Fish Oil every month - because there was a discount, but I planned to cancel when the next one comes in. I always plan to cancel and then sometimes I forget.

    • Toniannicommented2 years ago

      Experiences like this break my heart, I thought I’d understand better when I get married but I still don’t. How do women get roped into situations like this? Why do we feel we have to explain our lives with labels to others? Also I don’t see an ounce of self awareness, self reflection in the article, women need to take some responsibility for how their lives turn out, things do not always just happen to us.

    • Toniannicommented2 years ago
      EsquireA.J. Jacobs7/24/0724 min
      Esquire

      Being honest should help us rethink our thoughts.

      It appears the problem stems from what and how we think about things. The bible tells no lie

      “ A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of” Luke 6:45

    • Toniannicommented2 years ago

      Thanks for the reminder to have planned leisure that is cognitively challenging, I will schedule that into our day!

      Over the years, I have realised that I struggle only with smalltalk—when there’s no fixed agenda. But whenever there’s a topic of discussion, I’m as extroverted as they come. This is the case with almost all introverts. They like to talk; they just don’t like to smalltalk.

      Spot on.

      (Contemplation is Meditation though :D)

      1. Update (5/17/2020):

        Very nice creative work too!

      2. Update (5/23/2020):

        So I was thinking why don’t we have contemplative apps and ideas began to grow in my head so I searched if there were existing ones, turns out the first to pop up are Christian apps. Will still think on the idea I’m getting for an app - imagine Readup but with questions/thought guides instead of just freetext comment boxes.

    • Tonianniscouted2 years ago
      The New York Times CompanyMICHAEL KIMMELMAN5/13/2013 min
      The New York Times Company
    • Toniannicommented2 years ago
      The New YorkerHua Hsu5/11/2014 min
      The New Yorker

      Fascinating. Reading this over a brekkie of sautéed mushrooms and oats. I’ve recently returned to fungi love and not looking back

      Makes me grateful for a world designed so awesomely by an even more awesome Designer, all we have to do is discover, open up the gift!

    • Tonianniscouted2 years ago

      What a turn, 2yrs and then rescued! Praise God.

    • Toniannicommented2 years ago
      The New YorkerJonathan Franzen6/1/0949 min
      The New Yorker

      Riveting

    • Toniannicommented2 years ago

      Heartwarming turn of events! I’m surprised though that the Author is trying to pitch Lord of the Flies like it’s an impossibility. So far, it is observable in the world that humans are capable of both great good and great evil. Plus I didn’t realise Lord of the Flies was taken so seriously by people as “how humans will always behave on a deserted island”

      Another thing is, these Tongan boys were no strangers to islands, they had a Christian and cultural background that emphasises love and community over selfishness. Let’s not think this is the norm worldwide, it is something that has to be taught. And because it is taught, we must ask ourselves why? Errhm because clearly we are not born this way!

    • Toniannicommented2 years ago

      Loved the words from Despin - money is a tool, hoarding it is meaningless, it needs to be used for good.