I got an awesome personal message from my aunt (who is a nurse) about this article and for the last 45 minutes (accidentally :P) I've been drinking coffee and meditating on this very tricky paradox: Emotional labor is def draining, but also, in other ways, it can be energizing. (Old people, for example, get healthier when they have a pet to love and take care of.)
I struggle with this paradox daily. I want all the benefit of emotional labor (cleaner/happier environment, feeling of productivity, appreciation when it is recognized) and yet I resent the feeling that I have to do it. But I doubt the benefits would be so pronounced if there wasn't an implied expectation that I do it...it would just be like any other chore I suppose. I have generally adopted a halfway solution of being willing to do it but expecting (or demanding) recognition and appreciation for it. It doesn't remove the societal imposition of emotional labor on (usually) women. But it does fulfill my emotional needs.
Interesting article. It seems like emotional labor is just something you have to perform in the service industry to make customers happy. Is that an incorrect interpretation? I don't think software engineers or construction workers have to perform emotional labor no matter what sex they are.
Very interesting. I recently had a great conversation with a friend (who is a chimney sweep) about the different types of work that most humans do. It seems like everything can be broken down to 2 categories: brain work v body work. Brain work is sometimes called “knowledge work” and body work is, obviously, labor. Few jobs require both. Most college educated people do brain work. (I’m 32 years old and I’ve done quite a bit of both. I’ve worked in my parents liquor store and at several restaurants. Then I went to an elite college and did brain work for a while, until I realized I can’t look at a screen all day. Then I did two years at a rural gas station.)
This article helped me see that there’s also “heart” work. I think you’re right that it’s about making customers happy, but I think it’s also bigger than that. It’s about making everyone around you feel like they matter, like they have purpose. I would assume that that’s double tough in a soulless environment like, say, finance.
My experience with brain work is that it made my body feel dead. And pure physical work was physically exhausting, but in a great way. Plus, I had lots of brain left at the end of the day. But the downside, of course, was the lack of intellectual stimulation.
Emotional laborers, if I’m understanding the article correctly, probably feel like their hearts are depleted.
I’m stoked to now know about this topic. Great to have some new vocabulary. Hadn’t heard the term until now!
:) I've always been a brain guy, but I've been on a heart kick recently thanks to James Doty's "Into the Magic Shop." He's a neurosurgeon but has done some incredible research on the very literal ways that the heart (and gut) carry emotion, feeling, intuition, etc. Next time you see it at a bookstore or library, give it a little peruse. It's both light and heavy in all the right ways.
Can't wait. Thanks for the rec - and I told my book-rec-best-friend (we need a better title for this relationship) last night about the special place they hold in my life and how it's a surprising and not always obvious person!
I think the customer service example is one aspect, but the author also gives a few examples of her personal experience with emotional labor in an office setting:
It’s why women are always changing the coffee and checking in on new employees, and why I overload Slack messages with exclamation points and smiley faces.
In that sense I took it to mean an expectation of taking on additional burdens that are not part of your job description, which I'm sure happens in all types of occupations. With the combination of women generally being more agreeable than men and a legacy of sexism in the workplace I don't find it surprising that women are more often affected by it than men.
Big upvote on your last sentence, notwithstanding the fact that “agreeable” is a somewhat vague term. (I had to look up the definition. There are two: [1] more likely to agree and [2] more pleasurable to be around.) “Nurturing” is the word that I think really says what we’re talking about.
I was actually trying to be pretty precise with my language there. Agreeableness is one of the "Big Five" personality traits around which there has been much research and many studies!
I feel that emotional labor happens all the time in my personal life.
Especially when the other party talks too much/is fragile to most things in their life.. listening to someone else continuously talking, especially with me just nodding my head every time/not being able to speak, is like helping them manage their emotions.
This part: Our motivation for such labor falls somewhere between caring for you, and feeling like we have to.
THAT'S IT!
I got an awesome personal message from my aunt (who is a nurse) about this article and for the last 45 minutes (accidentally :P) I've been drinking coffee and meditating on this very tricky paradox: Emotional labor is def draining, but also, in other ways, it can be energizing. (Old people, for example, get healthier when they have a pet to love and take care of.)
"No Man Is an Island." -John Donne
I struggle with this paradox daily. I want all the benefit of emotional labor (cleaner/happier environment, feeling of productivity, appreciation when it is recognized) and yet I resent the feeling that I have to do it. But I doubt the benefits would be so pronounced if there wasn't an implied expectation that I do it...it would just be like any other chore I suppose. I have generally adopted a halfway solution of being willing to do it but expecting (or demanding) recognition and appreciation for it. It doesn't remove the societal imposition of emotional labor on (usually) women. But it does fulfill my emotional needs.
Interesting article. It seems like emotional labor is just something you have to perform in the service industry to make customers happy. Is that an incorrect interpretation? I don't think software engineers or construction workers have to perform emotional labor no matter what sex they are.
Very interesting. I recently had a great conversation with a friend (who is a chimney sweep) about the different types of work that most humans do. It seems like everything can be broken down to 2 categories: brain work v body work. Brain work is sometimes called “knowledge work” and body work is, obviously, labor. Few jobs require both. Most college educated people do brain work. (I’m 32 years old and I’ve done quite a bit of both. I’ve worked in my parents liquor store and at several restaurants. Then I went to an elite college and did brain work for a while, until I realized I can’t look at a screen all day. Then I did two years at a rural gas station.)
This article helped me see that there’s also “heart” work. I think you’re right that it’s about making customers happy, but I think it’s also bigger than that. It’s about making everyone around you feel like they matter, like they have purpose. I would assume that that’s double tough in a soulless environment like, say, finance.
My experience with brain work is that it made my body feel dead. And pure physical work was physically exhausting, but in a great way. Plus, I had lots of brain left at the end of the day. But the downside, of course, was the lack of intellectual stimulation.
Emotional laborers, if I’m understanding the article correctly, probably feel like their hearts are depleted.
I’m stoked to now know about this topic. Great to have some new vocabulary. Hadn’t heard the term until now!
PS Welcome to Readup, Carterable!
ahh! Heart Work! What a fantastic term.
:) I've always been a brain guy, but I've been on a heart kick recently thanks to James Doty's "Into the Magic Shop." He's a neurosurgeon but has done some incredible research on the very literal ways that the heart (and gut) carry emotion, feeling, intuition, etc. Next time you see it at a bookstore or library, give it a little peruse. It's both light and heavy in all the right ways.
Can't wait. Thanks for the rec - and I told my book-rec-best-friend (we need a better title for this relationship) last night about the special place they hold in my life and how it's a surprising and not always obvious person!
I think the customer service example is one aspect, but the author also gives a few examples of her personal experience with emotional labor in an office setting:
In that sense I took it to mean an expectation of taking on additional burdens that are not part of your job description, which I'm sure happens in all types of occupations. With the combination of women generally being more agreeable than men and a legacy of sexism in the workplace I don't find it surprising that women are more often affected by it than men.
Big upvote on your last sentence, notwithstanding the fact that “agreeable” is a somewhat vague term. (I had to look up the definition. There are two: [1] more likely to agree and [2] more pleasurable to be around.) “Nurturing” is the word that I think really says what we’re talking about.
I was actually trying to be pretty precise with my language there. Agreeableness is one of the "Big Five" personality traits around which there has been much research and many studies!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Five_personality_traits
I feel that emotional labor happens all the time in my personal life.
Especially when the other party talks too much/is fragile to most things in their life.. listening to someone else continuously talking, especially with me just nodding my head every time/not being able to speak, is like helping them manage their emotions.
That is tremendously tiring.