Once I begin, I’m surprised by how quickly I can write a letter. My secret, if I have one, is to not start over after writing a few lines. I cross out a lot of words. I’ve come to appreciate the inked-out portions as proof that it’s difficult to say what you mean, a realization that can make us all more forgiving of saying the wrong thing.
For the past 9 years, my older sister and I have been writing letters (hour long e-mails) to each other every day. It started as a way of sharing a passion for art. She was fascinated by process, so I would take pictures and explain each step of my finished piece. Then I asked to see some of her poetry, which had been published over the 30 years of her dedication but not too long ago abandoned for her love of horses. We had always been close but she never lived within car distance during my lifetime. Our visits were always holiday gatherings and delightfully chaotic due to her growing family. Now in our old age we have time, that incredibly precious commodity. Over the years, our letters became more intimate, more personal and revealing. The trust we cultivated allowed such depth and breadth of our exchanges. We are containers for each other’s most inner thoughts, desires and feelings. There is nothing we can’t talk about, knowing the other is there as a loving presence, a compassionate witness to our own internal process. Having a best friend, who is also a sister who shares my history, is a gift beyond measure.
This is gives me hope. I have eight siblings. I am very close with some, and not so close with others - although I love them all. A few of the ones I am not so close with are very active on social media and often message in a group chat. I know I could engage there more often, but I find it exhausting and not very meaningful. Maybe a few letters/emails (with no expectation or response) would be helpful.
I felt the same way about social media - gave it up because it drained me and had no meaning. I love your idea. I think there is no down side - perhaps try it to see if it works. I have 4 older sisters. I communicate differently with each one. I love all 4 but the one is the most like me energetically - we click! Hence, the much deeper dive into intimacy. It’s been such a game changer for both of us. We are different in some areas but love that we grown and learn from that place. I wish you the best.
My wife and I exchanged letters for the better part of three years. I was gone for two years to Paraguay. She had her own adventures in China and Mexico. When we got back we got married, and I joined the Marine Corps. She continued new adventures in Mexico and elsewhere, and we wrote each other through it all.
We really got to know each other that way and I cherish that we kept those silly notes.
I can echo the author. My grandfather and I wrote each other for years before he died. When I am missing him I go back and read the letters - they still make me laugh! And often, I find unsought wisdom in something he wrote. Things I didn't notice before, like he was answering questions I didn't know to ask yet.
When I was a kid, I remember being in a pen-pal program where we would write to students who attended school somewhere else in town. It was thrilling to write to each other about what we found curious and delightful. There was something special in the way we deliberately made some words larger than others on the page, and how we curated the stickers we chose to use.
Confronting my outdated words has helped me to accept the complex nature of putting thoughts down on paper. Thinking is transient. And filtered. And flawed.
This is very much how I feel about journaling. When I read my previous journal entries, I am reminded of how dynamic people are... some words are written with such fury that I smeared the pencil on paper, and some tear-stained pages where I had forgotten how painful some moments once were.
This is such a gem Jessica - thanks so much for posting! Hoping for another AOTD!
Update (4/18/2021):
Meant to also add how much I enjoyed your personal experiences with writing. I had tossed a bunch of my journals out when I moved many years ago. I wish I had them now just to glimpse my younger self and all her emotional territories. I have a good memory but seeing it written would be awesome.
Writing is so magical! I'm not sure how to organize my journals. They are notebooks of drastically different styles, shapes, and sizes. They're personal works that I would want to stash in an inconspicuous spot, but still accessible when I need to revisit them.
I am sure that revisiting the emails you and your sister shared for the past 9 years would be a glimpse into how much things evolve just in that time frame. Thanks for sharing that heartwarming story :)
YES! I love this:
For the past 9 years, my older sister and I have been writing letters (hour long e-mails) to each other every day. It started as a way of sharing a passion for art. She was fascinated by process, so I would take pictures and explain each step of my finished piece. Then I asked to see some of her poetry, which had been published over the 30 years of her dedication but not too long ago abandoned for her love of horses. We had always been close but she never lived within car distance during my lifetime. Our visits were always holiday gatherings and delightfully chaotic due to her growing family. Now in our old age we have time, that incredibly precious commodity. Over the years, our letters became more intimate, more personal and revealing. The trust we cultivated allowed such depth and breadth of our exchanges. We are containers for each other’s most inner thoughts, desires and feelings. There is nothing we can’t talk about, knowing the other is there as a loving presence, a compassionate witness to our own internal process. Having a best friend, who is also a sister who shares my history, is a gift beyond measure.
This is gives me hope. I have eight siblings. I am very close with some, and not so close with others - although I love them all. A few of the ones I am not so close with are very active on social media and often message in a group chat. I know I could engage there more often, but I find it exhausting and not very meaningful. Maybe a few letters/emails (with no expectation or response) would be helpful.
I felt the same way about social media - gave it up because it drained me and had no meaning. I love your idea. I think there is no down side - perhaps try it to see if it works. I have 4 older sisters. I communicate differently with each one. I love all 4 but the one is the most like me energetically - we click! Hence, the much deeper dive into intimacy. It’s been such a game changer for both of us. We are different in some areas but love that we grown and learn from that place. I wish you the best.
Thanks Peegen! I am inspired to start.
My wife and I exchanged letters for the better part of three years. I was gone for two years to Paraguay. She had her own adventures in China and Mexico. When we got back we got married, and I joined the Marine Corps. She continued new adventures in Mexico and elsewhere, and we wrote each other through it all.
We really got to know each other that way and I cherish that we kept those silly notes.
I can echo the author. My grandfather and I wrote each other for years before he died. When I am missing him I go back and read the letters - they still make me laugh! And often, I find unsought wisdom in something he wrote. Things I didn't notice before, like he was answering questions I didn't know to ask yet.
Such a beautiful story. Thanks for sharing, SEnkey.
Wow, beautiful! Thanks so much for sharing!
When I was a kid, I remember being in a pen-pal program where we would write to students who attended school somewhere else in town. It was thrilling to write to each other about what we found curious and delightful. There was something special in the way we deliberately made some words larger than others on the page, and how we curated the stickers we chose to use.
This is very much how I feel about journaling. When I read my previous journal entries, I am reminded of how dynamic people are... some words are written with such fury that I smeared the pencil on paper, and some tear-stained pages where I had forgotten how painful some moments once were.
I can relate! Thanks for sharing that insight.
This is such a gem Jessica - thanks so much for posting! Hoping for another AOTD!
Meant to also add how much I enjoyed your personal experiences with writing. I had tossed a bunch of my journals out when I moved many years ago. I wish I had them now just to glimpse my younger self and all her emotional territories. I have a good memory but seeing it written would be awesome.
Writing is so magical! I'm not sure how to organize my journals. They are notebooks of drastically different styles, shapes, and sizes. They're personal works that I would want to stash in an inconspicuous spot, but still accessible when I need to revisit them.
I am sure that revisiting the emails you and your sister shared for the past 9 years would be a glimpse into how much things evolve just in that time frame. Thanks for sharing that heartwarming story :)