1. The world's best reading app

    Get started today. Pick any price for unlimited, ad-free reading.

    bookbear expressAva8/5/213 min
    8 reads3 comments
    10
    bookbear express
    8 reads
    10
    You must read the article before you can post or reply.
    • chrissetiana
      Top reader this weekTop reader of all timeScout
      3 weeks ago

      If you have no way to judge that’s not based on obsessively analyzing other people’s micro-reactions to you, you probably don’t know who you are in the absence of someone else’s verdict.

      Currently struggling with unlearning this and basically trying to live my life according to my wants and needs.

    • DellwoodBarker
      Top reader this weekReading streakScoutScribe
      1 month ago

      Excellent! This really hits home right now. So many lessons here that have been learning rather tumultuously up until about a week or two ago and presently can read this and nod and accept all of this in a calm and peaceful space. Feeling ready to begin again ~ at a renewal starting line (with work, healthy relationships with self/community, humble abode living) where community connects are aligning while nurturing independence and embracing self-discovery whilst experiencing a purge of toxins through the rectifying veins of real love. Today is Pride Here and this read aligns beautifully with so much clarity; annihilating false narratives of the past and hurtful rumours recently illuminated for a ROAR OF SELF CHAMPIONSHIP. 🦄🌈🕺🏽

      This is incredibly freeing, because it means I judge myself by my own standard of behavior in every relationship, and not by the other person’s response. I’ve noticed that most people seem to overly fixate on other people’s responses: i.e. She didn’t want to go on another date, so I must have been super boring and said the wrong thing. Like, hey, maybe you were super boring and maybe you did overreach, but if you want to calibrate accurately, you have to center your own behavior. How did you act? If you have no way to judge that’s not based on obsessively analyzing other people’s micro-reactions to you, you probably don’t know who you are in the absence of someone else’s verdict.

      Personally, I have felt hurt and struggled with the above self revelations while acknowledging Truth within myself in regarding my own vulnerabilities. Today I know and trust the lessons have been learned and we can move forward in healthier directions.

    • deephdave
      Top reader this weekTop reader of all timeReading streakScout
      1 month ago

      If you’re forever looking around for validation, you’ll never be able to make anything that’s completely your own. Because you don’t even know what you think. You don’t know what is good and beautiful outside of what is culturally dictated to be good and beautiful. We believe that desire is mimetic, but we forget that the people who inspire real desire are always people who are redefining it—who give us something new to look at, allow us to escape groupthink. There’s nothing more powerful than separating signal from noise, spotting a phenomenon no one else has recognized yet. But to do that you need your own separate thoughts.