So when I was dating other people, and I was like, Is this good? Is this person right for me? I could think back to that relationship, and identify the qualities that were missing or present.

As much as it’s okay to have metrics, hopefully this won’t keep us in an endless loop of comparisons

Understanding your needs tells you what’s essential and what’s extraneous. It simplifies your life—instead of trying to do 20 different things simultaneously, you can focus on protecting the core components of your life. It sounds banal, but it’s quite difficult—most smart people I know haven’t identified their needs yet, and feel lost and adrift because of it. It takes careful experimentation and a deep knowledge of who you are to pick out the one or two right things in an infinite lineup. But nothing matters more—it’s the difference between feeling empty despite having “everything” and feeling full despite having very little.