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    Aeon | Anna Machin | 1/17/19 | 18 min
    23 reads13 comments
    9.6
    Aeon
    23 reads
    9.6
    PadlockYou must read the article before you can post or reply.
    • sylvieo3 months ago

      Super interesting topic — well-considered and written! I’d be curious how prevalent cases of swapped “mother” and “father” roles are.

    • jackdille3 months ago

      Dads take a lot of flak. This made me hopeful for my own future as a father as well as appreciative of mine and all he's done for me - particularly in imbuing his social skills as they've served me well. Great read!

    • Pegeen3 months ago

      Interesting article. My father was the carbon copy of the dad in the movie A Christmas Story. He was involved in our lives but begrudgingly so. There was a level of tension that was disconcerting and made me fearful. Plus, he was the one who dealt the punishment, my mother warning me, “Wait till your father gets home!” However, in hindsight, he did teach me very important lessons: discipline; how to handle money; the value of education; how to study; do everything with excellence; respect others; how to clean and paint a home; be on time; drive; ride a bike. He did occasionally read to us at night, a time that softened him and that was special - to see him in a more sensitive state. I missed knowing him as a person. To engage in conversations of meaning as I got older and was on my own in the world. I had that relationship with my mother, who was much more nurturing, loving and fun. My first husband, the one I had children with, was an excellent father - very involved. My children have the kind of relationship with him that I wished I had with my dad. And I’m so glad they do - it’s awesome. I hope this is the coming trend - a blending/balancing of yin and yang in both parents. Equality in partnership and all roles of parenting.

    • Raven3 months ago

      ”Where parent-child attachment is concerned, the attachment between a mother and her child is best described as exclusive, an inward-looking dyad based on affection and care. In contrast, a father’s attachment to his child has elements of affection and care, but it is based on challenge.“

      The vitality of all aspects of a child’s life are undeniable, thanks for shedding light on Dad’s role.

    • thorgalle
      Scout
      3 months ago

      Where a child was brought up by two fathers, rather than a father and a mother, the plasticity of the human brain had ensured that, in the primary caretaking dad, both areas – mum’s and dad’s – showed high levels of activity so that his child still benefited from a fully rounded developmental environment.

      Interesting article! The whole thing made me think about "nature vs nurture", but this line explicitly referenced it. It seems the motherly female behavior can be somewhat learned as a male. And I guess it goes the other way around as well. To this we can ask the question: what is a father then? Or mother? Just a set of learnable behaviors, excluding some biological differences?

    • jeff
      Top reader this weekReading streakScribe
      3 months ago

      Really excellent article! I hope this post makes it AOTD.

      • bill
        Top reader of all timeScoutScribe
        3 months ago

        Me too. I think it's gonna get it.

    • Jim3 months ago

      Very informative and interesting article. I feel the value of DADS has been socially diminished. Articles like this are refreshing and, for me, rewarding and validating. Personal note , my spouse had a fatherless home and has repeatedly felt the power of the sisterhood shaped her in a positive way. I agree she had an amazing family and a huge support system.... Where we often disagree, I believe the lack of a father has caused her and some of her siblings to devalue the huge benefit that an involved father can add to the family unit. She has often mentioned they were better off without 'him' around. I think that sort of belief carries an unintentional bias about men and their roles in all levels of society. Super Simplification..... Dads are good!
      (Usually)

    • Florian
      Top reader this weekReading streakScribe
      3 months ago

      Interesting and well researched article

    • deephdave
      Top reader this weekReading streakScout
      3 months ago

      We need to broaden our spectrum of who we think dad is to include all the fathers who stick around, investing in their children’s emotional, physical and intellectual development, regardless of whether they live with their children or not.

    • bill
      Top reader of all timeScoutScribe
      3 months ago

      Upvote. Rock solid. As interesting (fun) as it is informative (educational). I could read about the brain all day.

      Also: Aeon rocks.

    • SEnkey
      ScoutScribe
      7 months ago

      That's a great article.

    • jbuchana
      Scout
      7 months ago

      It's surprising what we've been learning about fatherhood in the last 10 years.