I want to know more about Rich's faith crisis. Five years ago, I would have said that my love life and my spiritual life have nothing to do with each other. But now (at 34 years old) I'm not so sure.
Also, this is gold:
"For women, too often, I think what we mistake as resilience is actually just endurance."
YES! Men too. I recently learned that two old friends are getting divorced and my first response, without really thinking, was: "That's great!" And the person I was talking to was like, "wtf?" And even I had to backtrack a little, because I guess it's a little weird to celebrate divorce. But why!?! The more I think about it (and I've been thinking a lot about it recently) I think that too many people are drudging along, trying too hard to endure. Sometimes, not enduring is what takes real bravery.
Anyway, this writing is brave and this writer is brave. Bravo!
I hear what you are saying here Bill. Yet I have to say that Readup has made me more cautious and hesitant to make broad conclusions based on my thoughts. I have done that a lot in the past and possibly still do. But I don’t want to. I thought my parents should have divorced and yet they had a deep religious conviction that prevented that. But I also believe they loved one another in a way that did not make sense to me. We can never really know someone else’s relationship and the dynamics of it. Divorce is such a deep and difficult passage no matter what the reason - even if both agree it’s for the best. There are always layers - add children into the mix and it’s even way more challenging. Choosing to leave almost anything you have dedicated yourself to is brave but never without some kind of cost. Or sadness.
@bill i think what you’re hitting on is this tendency (guilty but trying to rewire this) that once a relationship ends, you need to lose that person. And in a way you are losing something. There is a specific grief. But i don’t know that this cultural tendency to “move on” from people is always necessary or healthy or a sign of being “well adjusted”
You’re right, Bill. It takes such courage to date!!!
Exactly! This thought cracked me up: The awesomeness of dating goes hand in hand with the challenge of being single. But also: The challenge of dating goes goes hand in hand with the awesomeness of being single. It's a common moral: Pick your path and roll with it, because it's all jive.
Her honesty is just killing. I hope it IS she/her. What writing! Some of her descriptions of what happened made me laugh out loud. It’s good I’m old and married. You’re right, Bill. It takes such courage to date!!!
Loved this one! Modern Love is never not amazing.
I want to know more about Rich's faith crisis. Five years ago, I would have said that my love life and my spiritual life have nothing to do with each other. But now (at 34 years old) I'm not so sure.
Also, this is gold:
YES! Men too. I recently learned that two old friends are getting divorced and my first response, without really thinking, was: "That's great!" And the person I was talking to was like, "wtf?" And even I had to backtrack a little, because I guess it's a little weird to celebrate divorce. But why!?! The more I think about it (and I've been thinking a lot about it recently) I think that too many people are drudging along, trying too hard to endure. Sometimes, not enduring is what takes real bravery.
Anyway, this writing is brave and this writer is brave. Bravo!
I hear what you are saying here Bill. Yet I have to say that Readup has made me more cautious and hesitant to make broad conclusions based on my thoughts. I have done that a lot in the past and possibly still do. But I don’t want to. I thought my parents should have divorced and yet they had a deep religious conviction that prevented that. But I also believe they loved one another in a way that did not make sense to me. We can never really know someone else’s relationship and the dynamics of it. Divorce is such a deep and difficult passage no matter what the reason - even if both agree it’s for the best. There are always layers - add children into the mix and it’s even way more challenging. Choosing to leave almost anything you have dedicated yourself to is brave but never without some kind of cost. Or sadness.
Thoughtful comment Pegeen!
🆙
Good shit. (Wiping a tear away…)
💕
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@bill i think what you’re hitting on is this tendency (guilty but trying to rewire this) that once a relationship ends, you need to lose that person. And in a way you are losing something. There is a specific grief. But i don’t know that this cultural tendency to “move on” from people is always necessary or healthy or a sign of being “well adjusted”
Really loved this - a feel good honest read.
I read this and commented on it. I loved it!
Sent from my iPhone
Big hug, Karenz! I just saw this comment:
Exactly! This thought cracked me up: The awesomeness of dating goes hand in hand with the challenge of being single. But also: The challenge of dating goes goes hand in hand with the awesomeness of being single. It's a common moral: Pick your path and roll with it, because it's all jive.
Good one! This juxtaposition reminds me very much of the recent you have what you want.
Ugh. Heartbreaking and relatable.
Her honesty is just killing. I hope it IS she/her. What writing! Some of her descriptions of what happened made me laugh out loud. It’s good I’m old and married. You’re right, Bill. It takes such courage to date!!!
... poor woman. He wants kids. It won’t be her.