I feel so vindicated. I was once a terrible gossip who has purposely shifted over the years to a person who loves to discuss the (honest, genuine) tension or omissions or incompatibilities at work or among my friend group. I fully agree that gossiping is character suicide if there is malicious intent or no independent research done to corroborate the chatter.

Excellent Read.

My nature is not keen on gossip. When I speak of others I seek to elevate the narrative and avoid nastiness while speaking True~True or as True to sitches as possible.

My communication skills in person can be a little awkward and silly so I admire friends who are able to speak Real, True~True and Freely whilst maintaining Do No Harm and Humor roots of anchorage. I focus on my ability at finding more humor as I can often come off a bit more serious than I intend at times.

I am just not good at talking nasty about another and potentially damaging reputations as a result so it angers me when back-stabbing a and untruths are revealed from external dark energies that target myself or those I love and care about.

These passages stand-out:

At worst, it can facilitate xenophobia or bigotry on macro levels, and reinforce stereotypes about perceived “others.” Even in more casual social settings, gossip can ruin reputations.

But there are also OK ways to gossip. One of those is gossiping about celebrities, or powerful people that you don’t know.

The coronavirus pandemic robbed gossip of its richness by keeping many people apart, and forcing most gossip to move into the online arena. But it really can’t be said enough: Gossiping on the internet is a bad idea. Social media offers individuals greater control over their own narratives, but eradicates gossip’s vital nuance, tone and privacy. It can easily morph into malice, or breed distrust.

(Even gossip shared within direct messages isn’t really private, given the ability to screenshot and hoard “receipts,” an issue Mr. Chang said pervaded in the Dartmouth lab’s Slack channel last year.)

As humanity re-enters the realm of in-person socializing, we could all benefit from considering: How might we gossip better? How do we harness this evolutionary tool to our benefit — to connect with greater kindness and empathy after a year that brought with it so much suffering?

Consider Your Intention, and Possible Outcomes

When it comes to sharing a bit of gossip, it can help to run through the five Gatekeepers of Speech, which are interpreted from Buddhist teachings: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it beneficial? Is it necessary? Is it the right time?

Mr. Jolly expanded on this: “If you had a bad experience with an individual or a situation, you can help me out by telling me about it.”

He said: “It can feel negative because the subject matter itself is negative, but the outcome can be fantastic, because suddenly you saved somebody from heartbreak or something worse, because of gossip.” (The flip side is when positive gossip has unintended negative consequences, like spoiling a surprise birthday party.)

Finally, I am not keen on the free pass regarding celeb gossip because it encourages us to keep imagining them as something more or less than human.

I need to improve my ability to laugh at the non-sense of nothing and everything and take certain aspects less seriously. I am just not a fan of gossip because I don’t enjoy the concept of hurting others and developing shitty karma; theoretically speaking.